Lessons From the Souk on The Art of Negotiation- Building Rapport!
As a Lawyer, one of the key skills we are trained in is Negotiation. I prefer to call it the ‘Art of Negotiation’ because that is what it truly is, an Art!
Some of the best teachers on negotiation skills I have met are to be found not only at Law School, but in the Souk (market-places) in Tangiers, Morocco! I never lose an opportunity to hone my legal skills and negotiating with the local tradesmen and shop owners is of itself, a wonderful learning and enriching experience.
Lessons on building Rapport from the Souk!
1. Offer Hospitality
Rapport is power! To find out what someone wants and needs you must first build a relationship of rapport. Rapport means total responsiveness and connection between people. As soon as you walk into a shop in the Souk, invariably you will be offered a glass of traditional Moroccan mint tea and somewhere to sit and relax, even if on a heap of folded carpets! At one point I was also brought pistachio and almond cakes too, this without having spent any money in the shop. This means your hosts are already making you feel that there ought to be an exchange of some sort. It also means they are setting the stage for you to spend some time in their shop. The longer you stay, the higher the likelihood that you will buy from them. Once you are sat down, you cannot help but eye-up and take-in, all the colourful crafts, trinkets, ceramics, carpets, babouches and kaftans on sale. This means that you are now more open and susceptible to buying items, even if not on your shopping list!
2. Take Your Time; Be Patient; Ask Questions
The seller will likely ask you questions with a view to finding out what it is you have in common? They always ask how you are, maintaining eye contact and smiling. They may ask where you are from, whether you visit often, about your family’s wellbeing and are genuinely interested in pronouncing your name correctly.
To respond and build rapport myself, I always mention how my name, ‘Amber’, is spelt ‘Anbar’ in Arabic and is the name of a perfume. I also share my genuine love of Moroccan architecture, interior design, crafts, dress and cuisine. I show them photographs on my mobile phone of my home décor which is dotted with Moroccan influences. I also ask about them and their family.
By now, we have shared personal information and brought up common interests.
3. Mindfulness, Matching and Mirroring.
‘Matching’ and ‘Mirroring’ means to engage with the person with whom you are negotiating with Mindfulness, being fully present in the moment. Practice being aware of the person’s body language and Matching it: their posture, gestures, facial expression, pace of breathing, proximity and touch. Practice Mirroring their speech: volume, tone and tempo/ pace. The closer you can Match / Mirror the person with whom you are negotiating, the more they will get to like you and deem you trustworthy.
For example, you may find that the seller will also take their drink of mint tea with you, sit with you and give you full, undivided attention. Check whether they are matching and mirroring you too?!
4. Finding What You Want and Negotiating Prices
During this visit to Tangiers, I was looking to buy 4 matching glass and brass ceiling lamps. I had searched all over including Aladdin’s Cave! but couldn’t find 4 that matched. I walked into one of the shops close by to the Minzah Hotel, almost giving up but saw two matching lamps! I asked the seller whether he had 2 more- but I was so determined (and impatient) that I forgot to first build rapport. So initially he looked at me and said ‘no’.
I then remembered to engage in the process. I explained how I was refurbishing my home and how I am a lover of Moroccan architecture and interior décor. I took out my mobile phone and showed him photos of how I have previously decorated other properties with Moroccan influence. Now he was engaged and interested in me and I could tell he was now also genuinely excited about finding my 4 matching lamps! He asked me to return to his shop in the afternoon, citing the name of another seller who might be able to help out and bring matching lamps to his shop for me to see. By the afternoon, I had 4 matching lamps. The brass was dull and the glass covered in dust but I asked whether he could clean and prepare the lamps for me to take home, to which he agreed.
5. When ready to pay, always ask for an extra gift with a big smile!
Getting value is not always necessarily in ‘cash’; if you draw from your creative mind there are many other ways you can get value. Having negotiated a great price for all 4 lamps by submitting buying 4 instead of 1 should mean a generous discount, I asked whether the cleaning liquid and cloth could be gifted to me? Whilst he did not gift this he did concede a massive discount on the price. In other shops however, I did manage to get free bookmarks and key-rings which made for lovely contents of the souvenir gift bags for family and friends.
If you are into property law, if your client is buying a house and the seller is not willing to drop the price, ask for the golf cart parked in the driveway to be included in the sale price! Ask for furniture your client wants even if the price reflected was ‘unfurnished’.
Keep alert, awake and enthusiastic about the process and be creative in what ‘extras’ you can obtain fairly and respectfully. Be your authentic self and build genuine human connection and you will have honed the Art of Negotiation and Rapport!
For further information, please contact: amber@amberlaw.com