Allan Kleynhans ‘Awaken’ from Trauma, Addiction, Depression & Limiting Beliefs

Written on 16 May 2020.

The Law and Mental and Emotional Health

Having represented clients from all walks of life and all ages and stages of mental and emotional health and wellbeing, I am always seeking out mentors and coaches from whom to learn more. In this way I can better serve my clients, because when you have greater awareness, understanding and empathy, you can enjoy a more powerful connection with your clients. In this way, as their Lawyer you are better able to support them in their positive transition throughout and even after the Legal Process. This is Amber Law’s mission statement, “Positively Transforming Family Life”. I say ‘Family’ because none of us is an island. We all belong to a ‘Family’- a biological family, a family of friends, a family of work colleagues, a family in our community.

Allan Kleynhans’ Journey

During Covid19 ‘lockdown’ I came across Speaker and Performance Coach Allan Kleynhans who happens to be a friend of my friend, the actor, Speaker and Coach Alex Roseman. In 1988, Allan Kleynhans’ personal growth journey began when he read Napoleon Hill’s Book, ‘Think and Grow Rich’. His first thoughts about the book were why the information is not taught in schools?

He later became a Trainer with one of the world’s most famous Speakers and Transformational Coaches, Tony Robbins and remains today one of his elite Trainers. Allan also runs his own seminars and workshops. He has worked with Police, Military Personnel and the general public, teaching tools for ‘Trauma Intervention’, helping people awaken and heal.

Allan explains how suppression of negative emotions and feelings can shows up as anxiety, anger, being aggressive, confrontational. There is therefore a lot of strength required to confront whatever you need to confront and to work on your healing.

Allan says, “There are a lot of men promoting… and encouraging men to open up about depression, stress, suicide, mental health… more encouragement is out there now which is fantastic… But there are still men who struggle to bring themselves to those groups and open up...

For men we are afraid to be vulnerable because we think that is weak. However, I learnt through my own progress… that vulnerability is very powerful and if you can be vulnerable and authentic, then people are so willing to support you... There is nothing weak about being vulnerable. It’s actually very powerful and very courageous… Men … are being conditioned to be ‘strong’… You hear things like, ‘man up’, all these terrible phrases which really prevent men from actually asking for help and it’s that what kills men; that’s why suicide is much higher amongst men, it’s because they are afraid to ask for help because they are expected to be ‘strong’…”.

Allan is a war veteran, (Angolan war) where he was exposed to and suffered, ‘brutal and horrific experiences’. He suffered from nightmares and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P.T.S.D.) that showed up in anxiety, severe mood swings, alcohol abuse, drug addiction which he explains helped him to numb himself from what he was feeling but he fell into a deep depression. His recurring nightmare was about him being chased by the enemy whilst he was carrying a baby. Allan shares how after many years of introspection, self-study and personal development, he understands that the baby represented his inner child, and how he was trying to save himself. He found himself. Other war veteran friends of his didn’t and died by suicide. Allan ‘re-framed’ the experience and asked himself, “How can I use this experience, rather than this experience use me?”

He has a powerful story of how he overcame his traumas and addictions and turned his suffering into spiritual evolution; how he transitioned to dedicate his life to supporting and inspiring others to themselves transition from trauma and/ or addiction to healing.

Battles

Allan explains how we are all fighting our own battles in our heads. We need not have gone to war. There are mothers /father’s fighting to feed their children, or going through divorce, or facing financial problems. I add to that list, facing any legal problem, dispute or conflict.

Allan adds, “…When somebody has been carrying something for a long time it is tiring, it’s a burden. When people feel they have a safe space then they open up… to lead that process I am also completely vulnerable and authentic... fully transparent and that gives other people the space to do that … and they are willing to share and unburden...”. As a Lawyer I heed this advice and have indeed practiced this process in client meetings, when appropriate such as in cases of domestic abuse, workplace bullying or when any other kind of mental, emotional or physical violence is present.

Awaken

During Covid19, Allan brought his weekend workshop ‘Awaken’ online to audiences around the world. I signed up and participated in the weekend event. Many including myself, experienced ‘light bulb’ moments, shared emotions and celebrated breakthroughs. Limiting beliefs were broken down, which was both empowering and heart-warming. When we see certain aspects of ourselves or our life in a new way, it cannot be ‘unseen’, and there is a new level of consciousness reached and of understanding.

To ‘Awaken’ is to ‘stimulate’, or ‘initiate’ or ‘arise’… it is one of my favourite words. I assimilate it with removing a veil of ignorance or a rise in consciousness. This only we can do for ourselves as self-actualising human beings. No short cuts exist and no-one else can do the work for you!

Conditioning

I found Allan’s teachings beautiful in the way that he acknowledges that we are all of us conditioned from birth, so there can be no judgment; in fact, arguably, we are conditioned from conception because the sperm and egg already carry genetic information which to an extent pre-conditions our early behaviours. We can of course, be re-conditioned and change our behaviours- if we awaken to our more negative, self-sabotaging and destructive repetitive and cyclical patterns and take action.

Our first trauma, is the experience of birth.

Then we learn language and the words we choose shape our thoughts, words, actions, beliefs about ourselves, others and the world and consequently conditions our results. We add meaning to that language. We stop seeing the world as it is and start seeing through our own particular lenses. We may slowly become misaligned and disempowered, depending on the nature of the particularly early messages we received from our parents, teachers, friends, environment, experiences. We may forget about our unlimited potential and possibilities, the positive impact we can have and how we can add value to other peoples’ lives. How we all matter.

Allan says, “All issues, no matter what they are, they started with your relationship with your parents when you were a kid, because that is when you first learnt about punishment and reward … and the false perception that love comes and love goes. When you were first scolded, beaten, spanked, or humiliated or you felt your first shame, was your interaction with your parents… something happened… everything shifts... Learn to forgive your parents for whatever you think they did wrong”.

How do we initiate the process?

How do we honour the highest part of ourselves, when our voice has been supressed and we’ve created a limiting belief that we are useless, worthless and/ or un-loveable?

Allan says, by asking ourselves, ‘What do I blame others for, which I now need to take responsibility for?’ Literally write out your list. Breathe. Then acknowledge that as an adult you now have the power to create, or source the resources to create, whatever outcome you want for your life. It is your responsibility and only you are accountable to yourself to make it happen. Stop blaming and complaining- step into your power.

Assign a powerful meaning to the experiences you have had, both good and bad, because it will have provided you with understanding, insights and empathy for others. Use that. Allan says, “The power of a man’s soul and heart is stronger than that of knowledge or intelligence”.

What can we choose to do next?

Take action. Go within. Meditate. The answers are inside. We spend years seeking external validation. Answers cannot be found in others’ opinions of us, only within ourselves. Others are not the rightful determiners of our ‘value’.

Find 1 hour per day just for you to be in silence.

Helpful tools to ‘awaken’ or self-realize, are:

1. Gratitude
2. Journaling
3. Meditation
4. Prayer
5. Self-reflection
6. Affirmations
7. Chanting
8. Dance movement
9. Breathing exercises (Pranayama)
10. Yoga postures (asanas)
11. Forgiveness (Ho' oponopono prayer- I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you)

With awakening or awareness comes the power to make different choices, change our life’s circumstances and to transform our outcomes. As Ghandi famously said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” and this becomes possible, through awakening.